Review of James Feichthaler’s The Rise of the COVFEFE
November 24, 2020
The Rise of the COVFEFE
Parnilis Media
$17.50
You can purchase a copy at the Spiral Bookcase in Manayunk or at Amazon.
Reviewed by Chris Kaiser
No one can say the past four years haven’t produced tension and drama, given the political ploys of President Donald J. Trump. Those opposed to Trump and his antics breathed a sigh of relief after the election. Those who support the president are still holding their breath, hoping that the election was somehow tainted and the result potentially disputed.
One thing not in dispute is the president’s penchant for Twitter.
One of the more puzzling and memorable moments of the presidency was an enigmatic tweet on May 31, 2017: “Despite the constant negative press covfefe”. The tweet remained on Twitter for several hours, prompting scores of curious Americans (and foreigners too, I presume) to wonder what in the hell was “covfefe”.
The president eventually deleted the tweet, but taunted his millions of followers six hours later with this tweet: “Who can figure out the true meaning of ‘covfefe’ ??? Enjoy!”
Who indeed? I’ll tell you who: James Feichthaler. In his new chapbook, The Rise of the COVFEFE, poet, rapper, and wordsmith Feichthaler lays out who the COVFEFE are and what they want. As he writes, “It’s good to be the king! In our case ‘kings’, / Conquistadors of cash, monarchs of mayhem!”
This epic, 47-page poem takes readers on a satirical journey through popular and political culture unlike any I’ve ever been on. The number of references to movies, songs, sports stars, conspiracy theories, historical events, and notable politicians and leaders is astounding.
Feichthaler takes the pulse of Americana and delivers his assessment: The COVFEFE is the beating heart of America, the secretive group behind anything and everything that happens. Feichthaler explains:
Which begs the question: what do we all do
With so much time on our elitist hands?
Well, when COVFEFE isn’t watching you
Or dropping Mother Bombs in peace-starved lands,
We’re breaking bread with some of our best friends.
Last week, we had a night out with The Russians;
Great cover band! Kim Jong was on percussions.
What’s amazing with the poem is that Feichthaler delivers this send-up in iambic pentameter, with the same rhyme scheme as Shakespeare’s “The Rape of Lucrece”: ABABBCC.
Feichthaler’s iambic rant satirizes many presidential flubs, such as when Trump said during a July Fourth speech that George Washington’s army took over the airports to hinder the British advance:
Back then, there was no place for him to land
His fleet of jets; so, when he saw the British,
He rammed their ramparts like a whore that’s Finnish.
Feichthaler’s sense of humor is sometimes subtle, sometimes outlandish, but always on target. The book opens with a Swiftian-like preface claiming the manuscript was found in Area 51 “between the skull of Elvis and a stack of Megalodon teeth.” The author of the preface, a Gladlok P. Anderson (wink wink), attests to the veracity of The Rise of the COVFEFE and introduces us to the concept of the COVFEFE being a covert group of elite movers and shakers
The poet covers a lot of ground in his epic poem. Some of the people and topics mentioned include: Brian Williams, Jeffrey Epstein, Kid Rock, Shaquille O’Neal, Genghis Kahn, Napoleon, Van Gogh’s ear, Osama Bin Laden, Vlad the Impaler, Stormy Daniels, Charlottesville, Big Pharma, iPhones, opioids, The Rhodes Colossus, St. Patrick’s Day, Wiki leaks, millennials, Bud Light, Pornhub, and STDs.
Many parts of the poem are like entries straight out of America’s journal, recounting some of the conflagrations that have taken place not only in the last four years, but also stretching back to Columbus, who discovered the “Land where the pilgrim spread hysteria / And smallpox….”
One modern-day focus that the poet takes aim at is defunding the police. The puppet masters don’t like this. The narrator questions:
Defund the Po-Po? The fuck is you, insane?
Those keeper of the peace? Defenders of it?
If any of you scarecrows had a brain
And used the good sense (God gave you) within it,
You’d know COVFEFE even has a limit
To what we’ll do to keep the fairytale rolling,
And asking us to ‘defund’ is just trolling.
Feichthaler humorously adds: “That shit’s like asking Biff to back Obama, / Obamacare, Obama steaks, Obama coffee! / Obama waffles, B’rack Americana!”
The COVFEFE refer to Trump as Biff, a reference to Biff Tannen in the Back to the Future movie franchise. If you recall, Biff operated out of a casino in the second movie installment, echoing Trump and his Atlantic City casinos.
It’s obvious that Feichthaler has fun with words. The sheer scope of the work attests to that: 187 stanzas, each with four rhyming mandates, and each line containing roughly 10 syllables.
“I’m used to working in rhyme and meter,” Feichthaler said recently at a Zoom reading of his work. The poet also performs original work as a rap artist under the name Taliesin (aka Big Tal). You can check out his music here.
One of the verbal devices Feichthaler employs in The Rise of the COVFEFE that I enjoyed is the repetition of words or forms of words within a sentence. Here are a few examples:
“The left’s alright, but still they right no wrongs”
“More prompters prompting Merica’s malfunction”
“More death-clout chasers, dead men chasing clout.”
“For you to win, at losing, losing nothing”
“Keep making pointless point”
“The best excuser for our worst excuses,”
Feichthaler lives in the Philadelphia area and works as a proofreader. He has hosted the Dead Bards of Philadelphia poetry reading series for 9 years. His poetry has appeared in Sortes, Schuylkill Valley Journal, Martin Lake Journal, Toho Journal, and the Local Lyrics interview section of the Mad Poets website. Poets that have influenced him include: Shakespeare, Charles Bukowski, William Butler Yeats, Langston Hughes, John Keats, Lord Byron, and Robert Frost. Hip-hop and rap artists that remain influential to him include Nas, Tupac, Wu Tang Clan, Guru, and Everlast. The Rise of the COVFEFE is Feichthaler’s first published poetry book.
When Trump introduced “covfefe” in 2017, Feichthaler started writing poetic vignettes inspired by the word, and reading them at poetry venues. It wasn’t long before he realized that the word was bigger than even he thought and the idea took on a life of its own. That’s when The Rise of the COVFEFE was born.
“I wanted the book to be entertaining, but it’s a serious work,” Feichthaler said at his Zoom reading.
I’d say mission accomplished. At times the cultural references can seem daunting; there’s just so many of them. But when you get into a rhythm with the work, the laughs flow and the brain stretches to capture all the input.
One last note. I recommend keeping track of how many times you read the book, because one of the COVFEFE commandments is:
Thou shalt abandon reason, truth, and read
The Rise of the COVFEFE twenty times,
Then burn the damned thing, just because it rhymes.
Chris Kaiser’s poetry has been published in Eastern Iowa Review, Better Than Starbucks, and The Scriblerus. It appeared in Action Moves People United, a music and spoken word project partnered with the United Nations, as well as in the DaVinci Art Alliance’s Artist, Reader, Writer exhibit, which pairs visual art with the written word. He’s won awards for journalism and erotic writing, holds an MA in theatre, and lives in suburban Philadelphia.